1. You don’t mind your spouse having friends of the opposite sex. Your spouse is bound to engage many people at work, in the streets, through life; you want your spouse to have healthy friendships and be social
2. You don’t get scared your spouse will see another beautiful woman who has a bigger butt, firmer boobs, a more fit body or ‘better’ hair than you. You don’t get scared your spouse will see another man with a better and stronger physique. Your body is attractive to your spouse because it belongs to the person your spouse loves
3. You don’t get scared your spouse might meet someone more wealthy than you. Your love for each other is priceless, besides you can acquire more wealth as a couple
4. You don’t mind if your spouse sometimes is too busy to meet you or cannot attend to you immediately. You respect your spouse’s work, other responsibilities and engagements
5. You don’t get defensive when your spouse’s ex attempts to make contact. The ex may knock the door but your spouse will not open
6. You don’t snoop around your spouse’s phone. Only a heart that is full of suspicion starts investigations and the search for evidence
7. You don’t take offense when your spouse corrects you. You make each other better
8. You are not afraid to show your weakness, your silly, playful or not so pleasant side. Your spouse loves you for who you are
9. You don’t cause a scene when your spouse is late sometimes. You realize things can happen to cause the delay: traffic jams, unforeseen circumstances
10. You don’t panic when sometimes you two can be in the same room yet not talk much or at all. Silence can be beautiful and intimate
11. You don’t feel inferior when your spouse as an individual succeeds more than you or earns more money than you. You are a team, individual success is your success as a couple
12. You don’t shy from asking for help. How can you claim you love each other yet cannot be there for each other? Lack can be a good thing as it gives your spouse an opportunity to support you
13. You don’t get unsettled by the many compliments and attention your spouse gets from other people. Those other people are just confirming how blessed you are to have such an awesome spouse
14. You don’t get uncomfortable when you call your spouse’s phone and find the line engaged. Your spouse loves you but the phone is not just to communicate with you, but also family, friends, clients, workmates and business contacts
15. You don’t get uncomfortable when your spouse takes some time to reply to your text message. Your spouse could be genuinely in the middle of something and will get back to you as soon as possible, you’re not being ignored
16. You don’t get scared when you two have an argument or misunderstanding. You avoid disputes, but also understand that when two people get really close they are bound to have friction time to time; the secret is agreeing on how to resolve them
17. You don’t get scared of telling your spouse hurtful secrets, bitter truths, hard stuff out of fear of turning off your lover. If you cannot be free and open with your spouse, who will you trust?
18. You don’t see moods as a danger to your marriage. Sometimes you, your spouse or both of you will have bad moods or be off; feelings are not constant but love is. Sometimes you’ll be high in spirits, sometimes low; sometimes cheered up, sometimes lost; but everyday you will be loved no matter the mood
19. You will not be afraid when sometime you and your spouse don’t have sex. Love is not tested by the frequency of sex but the quality of sex. There are many things besides love making that you can do with your spouse that expresses love when you two are alone
20. You don’t get angry when your spouse falls asleep on you. Your spouse was just tired, love hasn’t gone, you are not boring
21. You don’t get alarmed when your spouse forgets to do something. You two spend so much time together, you are in his/her thoughts and plans, but some things can slip from the mind, some people need a reminder
22. You don’t take it as the end of your marriage when your spouse says something off. Sometimes something meant well can come out of the mouth not in the right way. Your spouse is still learning how to converse with you; love is about forgiving and understanding
© Dayan Masinde
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